Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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