i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
