i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize