oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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