respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
