Taylor Swift is so right about you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
