we have officially lost it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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