Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
