the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize