Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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