i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
