You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
