Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
