I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
