Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
