Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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