her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
