did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
