why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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