Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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