I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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