I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
