i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
