is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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