Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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