Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
