Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize