is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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