I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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