covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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