I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
