Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
