What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
