yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
