the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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