In the future we'll all be gay
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
