you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
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