Sry I called you an 8
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bring me that man meat
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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