Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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