The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
