I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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