we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
