It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
