my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
