Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
