if i can run in heels then i can drive
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
