have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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