people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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