I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
