My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
