So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
