when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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