i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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