And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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