I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
