My brain says no but my pants say off.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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